My belief...

This is not a story but I thought it’s more suitable to be put in my story blog then my life blog. I went for band today and sir told us life is not as simple as it use to be...he says that now the path is not as easy to walk as it use to be, there are many stones and glass on your path so you must be very careful. I gave it some thought think about all who crossed my life. After some time I felt angry with myself. Reason? I can’t answer my own questions. I went home but I didn’t enter my house, instead I just sat at the stairs and run through my mind. I felt so restless at the point of time.

Who should I trust?

How would I know if I made the right decision?

Do I have an aim in life?

After all this years all the advice that people gave me... were they for the shake of my well-being or was is just to intimidate me so they could out shine me?

I questioned my own principles. I can’t help it... I mean I am taught that when some one scolds you it means that you must have gone wrong somewhere and you should change so that you can be a better person. Isn’t that what you have learn when you where younger?

Then again I asked myself who determines if I am a good person or a bad person? God? Law? My friends? My parents? Society? Or...me?

Sir told me the set of values that my parents taught me is the most valuable things and I should never lose them... but I some times I don’t see my parents following the principles that they taught me... so does it means that they are wrong?

I looked through my life and ask myself.

What have I done?

Did I do myself justice?

I can’t answer them...

People with confidence would never question themselves the way I do. I wonder where did they get all their confidence from...

The set of values that they held on and followed so truly to?

Or was it their pride and their desire to portray themselves how they want others to see them?

Aren’t they afraid of other people showing dislike to them?

I did try to portray myself how I want people to think of me. People and told me these. “Don’t always think what you do is right”, “you can never do that” and of coz many more...

Are those things that are said meant to make me grow and learn, or are they just spikes on the grounds that are trying to intimidate me from walking forward?

I can’t judge...

Was I really too arrogant?

Was my belief wrong?

Or are they just jealous of me and they are trying to push me off my stand?

I know this sounds ironic...

I don’t know how long I stayed there just staring into the sky just thinking of all these... but I fell a sleep after that... woke up and I went home continued sleeping.

When I woke up I went online and I saw my wise owl online. I told him what I was thinking. And he told me this...

As long as you follow your set of principles and believed in them you will never lose your way...

There are only two kinds of people. Those who trusted everyone and those who never trusted anyone.

He was the one who never trusted any one.

I on the other hand trusted everyone.

Then I gave it some thought...

People who never trust anyone: never experience trust, will never get hurt by others.

People who trusted everyone: gets hurt, experience trust.
I weight them... thought about it...[I don’t think anyone will have the perfect answer to my questions... I know my answer is not perfect either... but I guess it’s one of the better answer I can think of...] and I still picked the second one. [Even though I would be injured time and again, scars all over...at least at the end of my life I know I have learn and I would be have memories, a story for every scar and a gratitude for every unhurt part of my body... I want to experience life...go through them...and learn to love every part of them... I know it’s hard I know I might sound crazy... but I choose to live my life this way... *smiles*] I guess I was just lost on the way. I’ve decided to place this entry on my story blog because I am sure I will be lost again many time in the future. If I’m ever lost again at least I would have a reference to keep my belief strong and going...